• March 01, 2017
  • Blog

This article was created by Kristin Davin, Psy.D.

Most of us have experienced the loss of a relationship and its jarring effects on us physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Sometimes it’s a feeling of unbearable loss and confusion. We become sad, distressed, lonely, and often angry. It can feel like the end of the world. The impact of this loss is magnified because as one becomes two, that couple becomes closer over time, their lives more entwined. Our personal and intimate relationships directly affect and influence many other aspects of our lives so when that changes, everything else changes with it. However, all is not lost.

Although there is no ‘one’ magical answer on how to move on past your breakup, there are things you can do help you get through this painful time, get you on the path of recovery, and feeling optimistic again about your future.

1.) Take time. Although it has been suggested that people ‘get right back on the horse again’ and start dating – as a way to move past your last relationship and feel better about yourself – I am not a fan of this direction. I see more good from giving yourself some time and space before you rush back into dating again. Time spent out of a relationship and focusing on yourself provides the opportunity for clarity and introspection, rendering a more objective viewpoint about the relationship. It also allows you to take a step back, evaluate, and decide if this is yet another relationship that sounds and feels like the others. Looking for patterns can help prevent future relationship mistakes. Time affords you that opportunity.

2.) Take stock. With introspection, you can answer questions such as: What did you learn from the relationship? What are your take always? What would you have done differently? What were some of your struggles that you brought to the relationship that might have contributed to its ending? There are always take always and opportunities for growth when a relationship ends – even if it doesn’t feel that way in the beginning. Taking the time to ‘take stock’ of what happened will help you move forward. When a relationship ends, we think, what’s next? Where do I want to be? Where do I see myself? What have I learned? What would you do differently, if anything? What do you need to do to move on? For some, during this process they realize that there are positive aspects of the break-up as well such as relief, freedom, empowerment, and optimism for the future. Use the opportunity and let it open you to a life you didn’t think would be possible.

You can read the other half of this article on Huffington Post here: http://huff.to/2m9BFdF